Thoughts and ideas from Erin
Fork in the Road
by Erin Kelly

Finally the fork in the road appeared.

Although she knew it had been coming all along, its eventual and expected arrival made it no less daunting.

Which road shall she take?

The road less traveled?

The smoother course?

The one after her own heart?

The one of truth?

And really... how was she even to know?

Where were the road signs? Where were the maps? Surely my Ipass works here and will show me the mile marker.

She sat in silence for a long while. Contemplating the view.

What a great paradox- the simple unknown mixed with the vast unending possibility.

What choice is for me? She pondered.

“Listen to my heart they’ve said” she acknowledged to self.

Seemingly clear she shifts to her knees to begin progress in one direction.

“But what if my heart loves and knows all. What if my heart can see, feel, understand, appreciate, and recognize all. What if my heart simply cannot be tested, it cannot be weathered, it will never be broken. How do I then choose if my head tells me all are one”

Resigned to surrender to her fate of noncommittal she sat down once more.

Just then an angel flew overhead noticing the odd scene.

A girl who’s very complexion glistened in gold, her heart wider than her body entirely, shining out as a mirror of light and love to all those who looked upon it.

The thought “Well this you don’t see every day” spurred the angel to seek out an answer from the small golden one who sat below.

“What vexes you? Why are you stuck? May I be of some assistance. That is what I do after all, help your kind. I guide you through troubles, through wars, through loss. I remind you of your beauty and I bring you and your families together. I ensure you are safe and I cover you with shelter. I have your answer, I have your solution... but ask and it is yours”

Her eyes beamed wide with the most infectious light. “Thank you my dear one,

protector of men. There is no gratitude I can pay for you protecting us from sin. Protecting us from ourselves and surely our own mothers. Protecting us from our sisters, our cousins, and brothers. For our lovely earth is wrought with despair. And as I solemnly sit here, I fear not a one cares.”

Taken aback with the ghastly mistruths coming from the beautiful mouth such as hers. “I, I don’t even. I, i, have not the words” the dichotomy that stood glaring directly at the angels face, was far too much than he could now take.

“What have I been doing all this time, how could things be so unclear. How can they still be consumed by this fear. Do they not now know Fear was later interjected into the equation? Present it was not at the dawn of creation. For surely fear is what turns one against another. Turns one against sibling, dear friend, and then thy own mother. Surely I can pull out of my bag of tricks. Something to at least get her back on her current trip.

“I must humbly apologize but words I do not have. To respond to your query, your concern, I am most sad. I have spent all eternity as you understand protecting your kind, and I truly thought, now was the time. The time for you all to abandon the great mistruth. And I must tell you. This uncovering takes no great sleuth. For life as you know it they have told you all lies. And I have circled all of you, I held you, tears you all cried. When your tears dried, i placed you back on your feet. And sure, I suppose, gave you cash for your teeth. Of course this is fallacy but my dear heart wants to make light. For what I have encountered here, I fear I’ll lose it- I just might. I’ll lose the eternal hope that drives my toil and my toll . And that’s the odd thing- hope is what I see most- inside of your own soul. Could you please, muster an explanation for this. How and when did things go so amiss?”

“But what do you mean? I am the happiest and most joyous, I think, I suppose. However, here you find me, maybe my own truth, should I expose.”

Well at this current juncture I face dreams of current and dreams of my own past. But what I’m not sure is which dream shall come to pass. So now I wait, knowing great loss is imminent. For that’s how this always works- just tell me. Isn’t it? Sure, we might achieve our dreams and maybe hearts desire. But inevitably afterwards, there waits a great fire. For I am not worthy of those all great things. No matter the amount of love I give, my mere presence does it spring! It seems I simply cannot outrun the immortal fate. From birth, I was born into and told to hate. Of course not in my own home, my family was surely nice. But walk out of my doorstep and my heart so swiftly, turned to ice. My little soul, bursting at the rim with hope, I learned to stuff it down, each juncture I’d say “nope!” Don’t you start coming back out here beaming with all your light. You can’t be happy-look around. This ain’t right! For I knew just as my soul always has, I was one with all, and all of them looked quite sad. So I began to give away, discredit all that I had. Like the giving tree, I gave all that I had. Finally my time has come and here I wait. Transfixed in fear, the future so unclear.

“But little soul... is it ok if I call you that? Forgive me for saying- this is a bunch of bull crap. Let it all go! What’s passed is past. And you have arrived, your future is so bright, it’s here, at last! Give yourself the credit for coming so far and file those old dreams away- for that’s what they are. They died with the rip tide of momentum. And you yourself will die, so long as you stay with them. Look me in my eye and here give me your hand. Listen closely, this secret is most grand. You are majestic, uncomprehendingly perfect. This goes without saying- but boy are you worth it! For here’s where you actually got off track- I’m just going to say, I know you didn’t actually ask. You forgot how beautiful you are. You forgot this, just admit it. Wherein you do, maybe then you’ll quit it. Stop allowing your destiny to be determined by your fate. Stop measuring your life by that heart that cannot break. Go to that mirror and look yourself dead in the eye. Can you look at her and tell her that same lie? That your dreams must stop at some point? No! Tell her the time has come- thine own heart she shall now anoint! Since your very planet is based on action and reaction, it’s time now- time for it all to happen. For the love you have given to come back ten fold. And no, he won’t even care once you’re old. For the greatest lie of all that they keep demanding you say, heartache shall be yours, and it’s here to stay. Allow myself and all of my legion to take this heavy weight, relieve you of your demon. There’s an old saying and it goes something like this- when you have wished upon your own star, it really matters not who you are, when you wish upon that star- your dreams WILL come true. Allow what is yours to be. Allow your heart to be free. Choose the path that ignites your heart and feeds your soul. And don’t worry, I’ll go ahead and wave that there toll.

Reverence overflowed from heart and her eyes. Finally she broke the chains, shattered all of their lies. The future is not scary, she could see at last. The future is just that- future, not past. She picked herself up with the help of her dear friend, lifted her head to his eyes looked within. In an instance hardly measurable by perception, she saw what love looked like at inception. Unwavering, unfaltering, true to a fault, unconditional love- the only one to exalt. And reality is words fail to explain quite as they should. But from that glimpse in eyes, she suddenly understood. Never have I been evil, never a sinner. Never should someone have to worry about dinner. We are all god, you can’t see it in our own eyes. This is such bullshit! I must expose all their lies. A small fire began to burn within that very heart of gold and from that day forward a new tale did unfold. One where she followed her own heart, knowing it’s safe. With the brightest light, what’s lost did she take. Took it back from the darkness, those who lie in delusion. No longer shall she play into the illusion.

For on that day, in those eyes did she find, the secrets to all universes, the very mystery of time. Love cannot be Created, nor destroyed. So then ask yourself- how might we be devoid? How might I? And why would you? Not cling to the fabrics- the very nature that’s our glue. Love is from whence we came and to that which we shall return. And now my dear one, it’s your turn!!